Having just turned 28 the other day I know I should already be well aware of this fact, but one time as a kid I looked out my window onto the roof and I SWEAR I saw reindeer tracks dammit! Nevertheless, it now appears there is indeed no Santa Clause.
While cleaning today I came across a container filled with half a dozen or so letters written to Santa from when I was little. I can only surmise that either my parents where evil and trying to cut off my communication with the big man in red, or...there is in fact no Santa and they were using these letters themselves to figure out what to get me from Christmas.
To be honest I have mixed feelings about today's revelation. On one hand, I can appreciate my parent's desire to do the best at making my Christmas wishes come true. Yet on the other hand with both of them being US Postal employees (or at least one of them at the time) their blatant disregard for the laws forbidding the opening of other people's mail is a bit discerning.
As for the letters themselves they are an oddly interesting read (more like deciphering). One of them for instance is simply a recipe I gave Santa for "Bumps on a log" cookies, with a drawing on the back of the North Pole. Another was simply a one sentence apology to Santa, from which I can only surmise I was pretty naughty that year. But, the real gems are the ones where I asked for Castle Greyskull and a year or two later when I asked for Captain Power toys (but not the ones my aunt bought me).
I did indeed receive both. Oh... that Christmas my sister and I awoke to see Castle Greyskull sitting there in all is mighty glory, with various He-Man figures positioned before it will forever be burned into my memory. As for the Captain Power ships, blargh... I've spent this last year trying like crazy to find the cockpit glass to the ship I got that year, with no luck, which is weird since I KNOW I've seen it in the last few years. So it only serves to enrage me for not being able to find that. But yes, I still have all my cherished toys to this day. Though sadly it appears that today I've truly lost the one thing no child ever wants to lose... my belief in Santa.
There was a time when I could work a unicycle like nobody's business. Riding with hula hoops spinning on each arm? No problem. How about riding backwards? What? Yup... I could do it. Even the 6ft tall unicycle was easy to master. In fact it wasn't long before (and against the strict order from my unicycling teacher) that I started to ride it backwards too.
Being a kid and thus small, that high up was scary, but it was no big deal for me. It all came naturally. I could jump on a unicycle and all that jazz. Parades and HS basketball games came and went and my powers only grew.
BUT, at the soon to be age of 28, some 18 or more years since I've ridden on a regular basis it seems I have lost the one true skill I had. Oh...I could still ride forward today, and backwards for a bit. But it was jerky and discombobulated to say the least. No longer was the unicycle beneath me an extension of my nerdishly handsome body.
Oh sure I could list off excuses like my replacement seat I got before quitting isn't symmetrical and the same as before. I could say how certain um... "stuff" is a lot larger then it used to be back in elementary school. Heck... I could even blame an old soccer injury for throwing off the way I balance my weight.
The truth of it is I'm old and and I've lost my gracefulness. So what do I do? Do I have some bizarre mid-life crisis and pimp out my unicycle with a fancy new seat? I could polish the unicycle up and hang it on the wall like some sort of trophy. Or... do I get right back up and try again? What sort of looks would I get? I suppose I could ride it at night, but then...I'd become that creepy guy who comes out at night to unicycle in the shadows. Hmm, actually that might work for me. I could be like Batman, but you know... without the awesomeness.
In any case, I'm sad and so I write this here blog for you unicycle. You may have chaffed my thighs like a motherf#*&er, but damn were you a big old wheel of good times.
Who the fuck has or still uses a fax machine? Gaa... email is just as "secure" as phone numbers. Like... okay maybe you'd have to confirm it over the phone with the person to make sure its still going to the right person, but thats what they do with a phone number anyway! I'm sick of these stupid companies not being able to email me crap, taking forever to mail something, and then using the "secure" excuse when I ask if they could just email me the damn thing.
I refuse to buy a fax machine. Unless it were part of a scanner/printer combo I wouldn't do a damn thing to continue perpetuating a dead technology, or what should be a dead technology. And whats so secure about a form with a few questions and an affidavit? Its not some super secret formula for super crack or... personal credit info. Its ridiculous that the last credit dispute I had, I had to resort to going to my local Wells Fargo branch and have them fax something to corporate, which they said they wouldn't do, till I told them the low down. This time though I'd have to have them call corporate, then have them have corporate fax to them. Well... that is unless I had a fax machine!!!
So much for not welching on your deals, and so much for the girl I thought you were...
Well, I guess I now know my true value, or what it isn't. I'm not worth $950. I'm not worth keeping ones word to. I'm just a distraction, in her words, and in mine I'd say I was simply a sucker.
Today is an unfortunate anniversary of sorts, one which I wished had never taken place. I told myself that this would also be the day I finally erase "her" from my cell phone. I know...its been 2 years, but I had a reason. After today that reason is no more.
I figured if she was ever going to contact me again it would be if "he" perhaps tried to kill himself (again), or if she was going to pay me back my money. I figured that once she got her trust fund back and money no longer meant anything to her she'd at least pay me back (so I gave her two weeks after her b-day to do so). I kept her name in my phone so I would know when NOT to answer, since I don't think I could handle speaking to her again. Heh... there was one time I received a wrong number and then upon hanging up I thought it sounded a lot like her. It wasn't her, she wouldn't bother with me anymore.
I've probably been rationalized away as some "crazy" guy who never really loved her and was "just trying to get into her pants." I've probably been told about to others as crazy as well, its what she does. Everyone else is the crazy one, which makes her normal, which is far from the fact.
I no longer have to worry though, she called twice shortly after the end of...whatever we had. She clarified stuff, which was her means of getting the last word, which she hated me for always getting. Then the second call was what in her head was probably an apology. She called me telling me she wasn't well, basically her standard "crying wolf" attempt.
In her head I'm a closed case. I suppose its only fair I treat her as the same. I was a fool to see something good in her that wasn't there. I was a fool for hoping for the best in her. Even now as I hesitate to erase her I'm a sucker for holding out the notion she might do the right thing and apologize, if nothing more.
I deleted one voice mail awhile back, but the "nicer" of the two I kept. I know I have it saved on my PC, but having it with me on my phone is pretty much the last bit of her I have left with me. If its gone, bleh.... it doesn't matter. The sick feeling I get every time someone else leaves me a voice message and I have to go through listening to her saved message first is just too much. Its like a dagger in my heart every time I begin to hear her voice.
But thats just it. Its that pain I want to avoid. What if she calls and I pick up? If her name is in my phone I could know not to pick up, blah, blah, blah...its done. I've deleted her number from my phone. Its time I let these last few fading memories finally go. To my credit I actually had to look up the date of this anniversary of sorts, so I suppose I'm doing better. A lot of the memories which often fill my thoughts during my down time are beginning to fade. Nothing though will erase the memory of what she did to me 2 years ago today, but thats life I suppose.
Covert hippy reconnaissance and the counter attack?
I'm pretty sure my hippie neighbors are using a listening device to spy on us. Paranoid you now think I am? Perhaps not. They were always poking their heads over the fence to see what we were doing a few years back before the "dispute" and the wife I always see listening in. Just the other day as my family were back in the garden working/hanging out I saw her looking over and getting closer as I worked out front.
Here's the kicker. The tree they ripped up of ours and took to take to compost? She asked me if I wanted it back when I confronted her, but said no. I just found it yesterday in our back drive way in front of one of our dead cars. Just a day or so after I told my parents how technically that was theft and we can use that against them. When we go to court we can have a list of actions they've done against us while we tried to remain civil. Such as... sending in a survey team into our yard without permission and trespassing, stealing this tree, digging out a ditch on their side of our fence to make it unstable, and so forth.
Right as I explained to my dad how the tree was technically our property, even if on city property is ours and they can't touch it, like we can't touch their retaining wall stones they have on our half. Pfft... thats when they decide to dump it where they know we won't see it. Now they can say "we didn't steal it" and point out how they returned it.
They must have one of those little pocket listening devices you can buy online. They are always monitoring us. Hell, yesterday as I scraped and cleaned our fence out front they mowed over the same patch of grass out front by me 3 times! The wife did it twice with the riding mower and the husband once with a regular mower so that they could check what I was doing.
These guys are fucking crazy. They act like the whole street is there, and are always doing things. Man I wish I could catch them doing something bad, like growing pot or something. Lord knows that burn out who's been known to just sit in his car in the driveway for an hour is smoking something. Oh... and the scam of hiring his wife and firing her from his own company so she could claim unemployment, yeah that was nice too. I also hear they have some scam where they are claiming to live in the house they built at the end of the street where some family is living. They have it so thats their residence, not the house they actually live in. They are always mowing the other houses lawn and shit, even after the guy who actually lives there does it. It fucked. I'm not sure the whole story, but they are shifty little fuckers.
Considering their crooked behavior and shit, I wouldn't put it past them to be monitoring us. They are probably trying to find out something to use against us and build their case against us. Well... I had better go out and finish up cleaning the fence while the sun is out, oh...plus today the cute redhead should be walking by, yay!
I'm too nice and people suck, so I'm gonna be mean? Perhaps...
Every time I give someone, or anything the benefit of the doubt I get screwed over. Every time I am trusting and opt to be nice, you guessed it. I get screwed! Bleh... my hair isn't growing back fast enough. I shouldn't have used that chemical hair dye, I knew better. Bald isn't a good look for a man who has been hit in the head with a garden hoe.
Where was I? Oh... right hoes! Everyone knows how "she" screwed me over and used my niceness against me. That horse has been beaten dead I think in my blogs, so meh. Though the other week she regained control of her trust fund and if she was ever going to contact me I assumed it would probably be now. I figured now that she has tons of money and it means nothing to her she might just toss some at me to pay me back and erase some of her guilt. But of course that won't happen. You have to care about something or someone to feel guilt. So...in two days, a week after her b-day I will erase her phone number from my cell phone finally. I figured it was best to keep it in my phone to let me know when NOT to answer. I think I'm pretty safe at this point though.
But yeah...others screw me over. This eBay seller, whom I kept giving the benefit of the doubt to in sending my refund. Yeah, he drug out the ordeal just long enough to where I couldn't dispute it with Paypal. Pfft...so I sent my credit card company after him. But this has been the real eye opener for me. Despite what I tell myself and try I can't not be nice and try to expect the best from people.
I always seem to try and improve people and things. I try to see the best in people and then bring that to the surface. I want to believe people are good. Now don't get me wrong, I'm trying to sound so great myself or like some martyr. I have my flaws. This is in fact one of them. I'm not stupid trusting, where I just base it all on "a good feeling." I always rely on the facts I've been provided, hence my always being over analytical with people and things I suppose.
Every time though I always seem to miss the people or things that are about to screw me. So how can I fix this? I can I effectively turn... myself off? I'm sick of always putting everything into friendships/relationships and projects and then having things stab me in the back. I'm always offering or willing to do things for people and it feels right. The one time I didn't extend myself towards someone (whom I wasn't allowed to talk to and be friends with according to "her") I just spoke to. I listed to what the said, responded, and that was that. I never tried to add something to the conversation or be friendly to, just polite. It felt odd and I didn't like it, and since then I've regretted it.
I believe in treating people the way I'd like to be treated. People just aren't like that though. They will tell themselves they are, but they're selfish. But these are the people who don't get screwed over so much it seems. Gaaa, I sound so full of myself. I can't explain this without coming off as a righteous ass.
The people who know me might know what I mean. I think "she" saw it as an immature side, or not grown up side. She seemed like she was always trying to teach me stuff throughout our so called friendship. But I wasn't needing it. She just didn't know how to view my kindness I think. I think "she" felt I needed to experience shit, which I did and still do, but doing so wouldn't have changed this side of me.
Or maybe it would/will. Perhaps I just need to become jaded or indifferent towards everything. If something goes good, then yay! If not, then... fuck it. Maybe I solution is to just not invest myself so much in things. Maybe then I won't be this "sucker" that I seem to be.
This eBay thing, was just dumb. They had 2 negative feedback and it all looked like the buyers over reacted. Then I see they how have like 22 negative feedback in just over a month. Its lame. Pfft... and now I've got this shit going on with my neighbor with the property dispute. I explained politely, but directly to them to stay on their half even if they think their half is more on our side. I present them with fact, and what happens? I get a pseudo threat of legal action against me!? The bitch ripped up my tree/dead and I'm the one being threatened with legal action, when I could have called the police on her ass? Yes, the dead was very dead and ugly. She thought she was doing me a favor, but it was my property and she had no right to touch it. She can't claim those as her hedges, no matter how she make it look like they are an extension of her flower bed!
Pfft... so yeah. I play things cool, but direct. I try not to escalate things and she responds to me with "do you want this to become a legal discussion?" I'm sick of this. Perhaps I need to just be an ass to people. If you fuck with me I'll with you sorta thing. Tomorrow I escalate my eBay claim to a dispute and later today I'm filling in dirt up against the neighbor's retaining wall that is on OUR half! Pfft...lets see that hippy bitch legal discussion that!
Things are set or setting up nicely this Spring...
I'm feeling pretty good today. I've finally got all 3 of the 19" monitors Bezzo scored me working in unison and my desk hasn't collapsed under the 150 pounds of weight! Two are running off my PC and the third is connected to the PowerMac G4 he also snagged me. Yes, its good to have friends in IT, especially when their companies are clearing out old stuff.
Yeah... sure there are a few things to be erked about, but thats what denial is for. So I'm pushing aside my normal over analyzing and enjoying the sun light glaring off my 3 monitors, while I probably go sterile from the increased radiation exposure. Yes I love Spring, or at least these half/half days that usually grace us early on in the season.
Let me just start this by giving a big shout out to the guy in the shinny blue shirt who pestered me twice! Yeah, you know who you are. Now...I know that when I go to the mall to get my haircut I have to walk past 1 or 2 wireless kiosks. For the most part I grudge through it, with nothing more usually than "hi" or "how's it going" sometimes... they'll even change it up and ask "how's it going guy."
My normal plan of defense is to time my walking speed to that I have a few "mall milfs" between me and the kiosk. Today I wasn't so lucky. Now usually if this plan fails I'll just wipe out my cell phone and look busy. Its a risky move, showing them you have a cell phone in the first place, but I find it often is a good deterrent since they figure someone already got to you. I should also randomly note that its always the T-mobile or Cingular ass clowns that pester me.
Anyway on my first pass I got this cocky fuck who hit me with something new. He asked "hey man, how's it going" to which I monotonously told him "fine." He then, even after avoiding eye contact and behind just past him asks "where do you work? You work here in the mall?" WTF??? Had I not been looking REALLY bad in dire need of the haircut I was on my way to, and not wanting to draw attention to myself I was so about to tell him "none of your fucking business."
I suppose there were also kids around maybe, and not being a confrontational type had something to do with it as well, but whatever. I get my hair cut and on the way back I see the guy from afar leaning arrogantly against the right side of the kiosk. I decide to go left hoping my haircut will throw the guy off. Oh...but he goes left at that very moment, so I go back to the right. I find myself behind a mass of non-milf stroller pushers. You know the type, they walk like a old man driving a Caddy on his way to pick up his prescription. I just...couldn't...pass around them!
So without the buffer of strollers I knew I was doomed, so I wiped out my cell phone as my last line of defense. I think to myself he may not buy it, and wonder if I should pretend to call someone. But not wanting to be a total tard I opt to just make it look like I'm pressing the buttons in deep concentration.
My friends, I would like to say I fooled him and walked away un-harassed, but today was not my day. As soon as he spotted me his eyes widened and he clearly remembered me. He energetically said "hey, oh...cool what model is that?" to which I simply replied "its Verizon" to his Cingular pimping ass. Oh...but did being on another carrier stop him? No...he continued to ask if I had to buy it, well past the point of no return as I walked past once more. I knew one of the non-milf's had strayed from the pack and was behind me, witnessing all of this, probably thankful I took the focus off her. I simply nodded my head in disappointment and moved on, holding back once more the urge to tell him off.
So I deleted the entry about the giant helicopter that was circling my neighborhood and hover over my house, providing me with a less than ideal wake up call. Well, calling it an "entry" is a bit of a stretch. It was really more a sleep deprived rant. Anyway... I have nothing new to report.
My room is still in chaos from taking all my old toys out of my attic and I'm finding myself procrastinating on how to repack it all up. I think it'd be fair to say I'm experiencing a pre-midlife crisis brought on by my recent birthday. In any case, this has been the reason for my lack of entries lately. Well... that and the fact nobody that ever visits this blog.
Its well established that I'm a little slow in life. I started college later than my friends. I didn't drink till I was 22. I didn't kiss a girl till I was 24, not to mention well... you know. Heck, I'm still (technically back) living at home!
Today however I think I just confirmed I'm not only slow, but officially retarded. Just a few minutes ago I refused an offer of $3000 for my domain name "myblogspot.com." $3000 was my bare minimum for moving to Seattle. I needed $5000 to move and feel "comfortable," but if I needed to I could have done it with just $3000.
So with this money I could have not only been within reach of moving the FUCK out of Blaine, but I also would have been financially back to where I was before that mess with "her."
It wasn't an easy decision to reach, but with the bearded wisdom of Scrapper telling me exactly what my inner voice had to say I felt it was the right move. My gut told me to not sell. Sure, Laureen had some valid insight. Perhaps by keeping it and making something of the site I later could put myself into a position to be sued by similarly named "blogspot.com," so I should take the money and run. But hey...as this entry is trying to prove, I'm retarded right?
Those who may have gandered at my Flickr page recently will see that I have been photographing my sexy bounty of sci-fi goods and such. Two problems have risen in doing this. The first being my camera sucking in low light situations, if not sucking totally (I'm on my 4th defective Powershot G2). The results of which have been blurry shots of said goods.
The other problem, which I am currently taking a break from dealing with to write this is packing. The last time I re-packed my Star Wars figures I carefully enclosed them in some bags to protect them a bit more. Everything was put in my containers in such a way so no damage could occur with the maximum capacity.
It seems as I try to repack I'm not as efficient. I seem to find myself with figures that won't fit or conditions I'm not comfortable with, yet have let slide. The bags I reinserted the figures in are now puffy or dare I say baggy. Their static cling is no more and the extra space caused by this is adding. I'm pissed, yes genuinely pissed.
All I wanted was to photograph my collection and for personal reasons validate my collection I suppose. Oh...and put all the figures in one plastic garbage bag for an extra layer of moisture protect. Nevertheless this simple goal has become not so simple.
Anyway...I'm in a bad mood, I've also just realized I have less figures then I thought I had, and to top it off my throat hurts.
So I was checking my server logs (a frequent part of my daily routine) and low and behold someone visited my blog! Thats only happened twice before, way back when I first created it. Of course I wondered who it was and the log said they were from back east, but I decided to enter the ip into another tool I have that shows satellite photos of their location (its not as creepy as it sounds, really).
The thing that's creepy is what appeared on the satellite photo. It was a freakin' graveyard! Its bad enough I'm having the dead turning lights on, or moving things in my house, but now they're visiting my blog? I suppose since the tool is really meant to just show the location of the ISP that perhaps the provider has some junction or something under the ground there, but even thats kinda creepy. Talk about "phantom signals."
Okay, that was lame, sorry but it makes for the perfect transition to my next topic. The series finale of Star Trek Enterprise (also lame). Yes, I just watched it. As a matter of fact over the last week I've been watching all the episodes I missed once my college schedule changed, causing me to miss my once coveted and go to night of the week, thats right "Star Trek night." Not being a fan of the series from the start I kept with it, having hope the terrible theme song would be replaced and Scott Bakula's acting would improve.
Well, they apparently changed the theme song, as I had hope shortly after I stopped watching. Yup, they sped up the beat and made it even more pop. As for Scott's acting, sadly his "I'm trying to be serious and deep" pauses and turns remained. Oh, they're were some good themes they picked up on though. The show had its moments, moments one couldn't think they'd go wrong with.
Well...as we all know the franchise for the first time in a few decades is dead. So much for going out strong and with dignity. Considering the last episode of the series was nothing more than a fucking cameo by an overly bloated Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis with some inbetween of the regular cast I'm glad to see the crap end.
The series had a tough job, yes. It had to fill a time line while not being trapped by its very future, which had already been established. Perhaps if Paramount hadn't insulted the very intelligence of its core audience by changing facts, or worse using shameless attempts to capture on the former series's glory by knocking off the stories it would have succeeded. Perhaps if they hadn't started the series off with a big fuck you to the nerds and tried to capture the UPN teeny crowd it wouldn't have had to die so prematurely.
Getting thoughts to text without worrying about cohesion while being cohesive...
I've found myself almost afraid to acknowledge this blog, which is odd for someone to say who now has 2 blog sites I suppose. I avoid it, I see the link in my bookmarks and I want to click. I want to write.
I never do though, I don't click. I don't write. I worry that if I do it'll start fine but turn sad, depressive. That was so my last blog and I want that to be in the past. I want what was going through me and subsequently becoming my blog to be just that, the past. I want things to be happy, weird, humorous, and like me. I want the James of the past back. I lost that part of me, or put away that side and now I can't find it to take out and play with.
I suppose I've tried to replace it with a new toy and coax out that side of me with this here blog. My entries started out like they should be, but it began to feel fake. Was it fake or merely short lived? Is this bitterness my new center? I can't help that in the evening I feel the need to write and I can't help if in the evening I find myself depressed. The evening is a time to be reflective of one's day and so perhaps that is what is tainting my writing. Perhaps I have too many "bad" days and so I end up having similar entries.
I have stuff I want to say, but each time I see that bookmark or login screen I tell myself I don't. I don't write, I don't hit post, and nobody reads anything. I suppose in the end that makes all this futile.
T'was the night before the day I could care less about...
How crap, I just wrote one hell of a long entry assessing my life. Where the did that come from? Wow, I was just going to write about how I'm not celebrating Christmas this year and my thoughts on how tomorrow will play out having not bought anyone presents and turning down any gifts people might have waiting for me. I was just going to ponder the potential for once more being the family's emotional scapegoat for the holidays and then BOOM!
Oh well, I'm not posting that entry because well who needs to read about the specifics of why my life sucks? As for the entry about Christmas... bah, humbug should suffice.
This granola tastes like your grandma's cookies...
Meh...I don't think I pulled off the sexual suggestiveness of that title like I had intended too. All I know is I hate nuts. I hate nuts in my brownies. I hate nuts in my cookies. I hate nuts in my cereal. Yes, I hate nuts in stuff. Perhaps Kung Pao Chicken is the exception. Don't get me wrong I don't hate nuts in general. I just hate people always slipping them into things that taste good. Oh... god and FUDGE! I can't tell you how many times I've desired some fudge (maple) only to find they only have the kind I want WITH NUTS!
Fuck nuts... I say. Who's idea was it to make nuts the thing people are always trying to slip into our goodies? Wait... now that had the innuendo I was looking for earlier. But really, why nuts? Why couldn't gummi bears be the thing people always try to slip into our cookies and fudge and ice cream. Okay, maybe not gummi bears, but something like that?
Don't get me wrong now. Yes, I'm a hateful man, but I'm not just being hateful towards nuts. I like nuts, at least when they're all alone. Me and a handful of nuts sound good. But pack those nuts into some fudge and I've got a problem with it. Really, I love peanuts and oh... some salty pistachios too. So you see I'm not nutaphobic or anything. I just don't like the deceptive nature of all this nut action.
Anyway... back to the cereal, which after the bowl I've just semi-finished is just bleh. Sliced almonds and eww... it tastes like coconut too. Man, don't get me started on coconuts. I HATE coconut. Oh and raisins you guys are getting a little too comfortable, acting like you're some sort of candy. If it weren't for your awesome Christmas special you'd be on my list too.
I keep writing entries only to delete them upon realizing I've written well past the cutoff mark for interesting or humorous content. Ah, do I love to ramble. My textual libido needs satisfying and dammit, this blog is all I have. But yeah... sometimes I over do it. Nevertheless I'm still here, doing stuff.
In fact... about an hour ago I noticed a hell of a lot of water overflowing a rain gutter only to find a pipe had burst on the roof running to my mom's greenhouse. It was kinda fun having to try and climb on a snowy roof and pull back a filled gutter just inches from the power lines that feed into the house. Water, aluminum, and powers lines are the building blocks to the pyramid of fun, everyone knows this. But alas... I survived and the water is turned off.
Anyway I've lost interest in writing, as my room is too damn hot to maintain any prolonged form of concentration. I'm gonna go play LoZ: Wind Waker for a bit.
So there I was flipping through On Demand movies trying to find some half decent movie that I hadn't already watched. All of a sudden my eye catches something. I see mention of "Ralphie" and "Christmas Story Sequel." The title though was "Runs In The Family," and I was certain that was that one with Mike and Kirk Douglas, post stroke. Could Comcast have messed up again? Could this be like the time I tried to watch Bloodrayne and it said it was Alien: Resurrection? (note: Bloodrayne was sorely disappointing 'cept for some small boob action and yet again confirming the perplexing notion that all female vampires are bi or lesbian)
Ah... but I digress. Back to the point, I decided to press play and watch what could either turn out to be an unknown cinema treasure or quite possibly the worst abomination of a treasured childhood memory since Jar Jar Binks hit the screen. Having now viewed said film I must say it was much like drinking a flat generic soda. The ingredients weren't of the same quality and the humor which made the original a classic had fizzled.
Yes, the was a sequel to "A Christmas Story," in fact there were two of them, sorta. "Run's In The Family," also known as "My Summer Story" is its name. Eh... only two people from the original film reclaim their roles, the narrator and the teacher. They've got Culkin's playing Ralphie and the his little brother, thankfully not that Home Alone one...
I think the only thing worthwhile and saving grace of this movie would have to be the fact that it was Charles Grodin's last film. Now don't get me wrong, I'd love to see another Beethoven movie as much as the rest of you. Oh man...if they could team that dog up with that Air Bud they'd have themselves cinematic gold! Grated the Air Bud dog is dead, but thats neither here nor there. The man was horrible as "The Old Man."
I feel bad now for having watched this movie. I knew full well that by seeing this movie that it could ruin the original for me (much like the Phantom Menace did for me). Yet at the same time I had to see it, I had to watch and know if it were true, and really a sequel.
Had they made this movie soon after the original and with the original cast, okay... maybe. Now I know the movie is a cult classic and probably didn't make enough initial return to warrant a sequel, but still... Waiting like 10 years to then try and cash in is just, well...its just what Hollywood has become. One can only hope a remake of "A Christmas Story" is not already in the works.
Thats right, I'm going cold jerky! Now I know what you're all thinking. Please, I'll be fine I assure you. Don't worry for me. If anything worry for all those amature Russian porn chicks. Lets face it, the economy just isn't what it used to be over there. Out sourced pornography is all they've really got going on over there and there's no telling what such a large drop in site visitations could do.
Its risky, and I'm definitely going to be very anxious over the next few days for sure, but I'll pull err um... I'll get through this and so will they. Good luck comrades, day two approaches!
I tried to make a spaghetti sauce tonight trying a bit of red wine to take the taste up a notch. It did not come out as saucey as I had hoped. I think it was the meatballs from Costco. I rushed them in at the last second and I think speeding up the process of thawing by microwave was not good.
The sauce started out pretty nice at first, but one saw-dusty bite of a meatball and its done. Bleh... I'm sad now. My attempt to expand my cooking repituar has come to end. Eh... at least I have my tequila chicken and that sauce I made for my shrimp the other night was rather nice for a side dish.
Thankfully my dad ate mostly left overs, man I hate cooking for others. Cooking is too hit or miss for me. I think I'll stick with simplicity in my dishes. Man...my blog content has taken a dive. I probably should have instead wrote about how a bee stung my finger or that fly that kept following me.
I suppose since nobody visits or even really knows of this blog I no longer have to try and keep my entries short, attempt to be humorous, and avoid certain topics which nobody (including myself) want to read about. I've been doing pretty well with my attempt to block out all of my memories of "her."
Mainly I've resorted to well... referring to her as "her" even to myself. When I feel myself thinking of something having to do with her I try to stare off and zone out. Its worked well. Sadly with the weird way that my memory works its all or nothing. Trying to forget her means I've forgotten other things, things I would have liked to retain.
I relive things in my head. I play events basically over during my downtime. Usually while I'm laying in bed each night unable to sleep. It only has to be for a split second sometimes to retain some memory. Obviously going over every memory I'd like to keep would take tons of time so its almost like I just renew a subscription almost. When a memory starts to fade I think of it and then it lasts a little bit longer. Its I suppose pretty cool except that I have no control over what memories pop into my head. Given recent events and my withdrawal from social interaction I basically have no new memories forming. There's nothing new to take the foreground, no conversations, no fun times with friends, nothing.
This has been my problem. I suppose in a way this is why rebound relationships or flings work so well as they break the previous associations that people have with...whatever. But yeah... since memories of her are the most recent "memorable" events in my life its been hard to block them. I've basically had to resort to turning off the means by which I memorize things, or think for that matter.
It makes me feel almost empty doing so. From as far back as the end of my childhood I can remember always remembering back to it in remorse. Thats when I was happy and so thats what I want to remember, happy times. In doing this my weird ability to remember unimportant information developed.
I can sit down and study books and stuff and not remember crap, but if I spend time with someone or do something I can remember where people sat or just other unnoticeable observations from the moment. I suppose its probably a big reason I became so anal. The little things were what I was in a sense good at.
Today is the anniversary of when I moved to Montana. Oddly enough I can't even remember how many years ago it was. It just doesn't come off top of my head like it used to. I suppose this is progress. I suppose this is how things will become. Her face will blur more and more in my thoughts, her voice will become a whisper, and hopefully my reasons for caring will be no more.
Until that day I suppose I'll be stuck remembering how its odd that today of all days I'd dig out some Top Ramen from my boxed up Montana stuff to eat and become sad by something as simple as noodles...
Is it just my altered sense of um...sense or has Heinz ketchup become less thick? Ever since those damningly convenient squeeze bottles came out I've noticed that it isn't as thick. Am I right or does the squeezing of the ketchup through the nozzle just make it appear less thick? Or...could said squeezing actually be altering the ketchup's thickness?
Sure nobody wants to really spend 5 minutes beating the bottom of a ketchup bottle, but at least then you knew you'd be well rewarded for you hard work by a quality condiment. Some times you've got to work hard for something good and Heinz ketchup was one of those things, dammit. What has happened to our country and its sense of work ethic? Are we so lazy we must accept substandard ketchups to satisfy our greater need for convenience?
Pfft...and could somebody explain to me why I like red licorice ropes, but not Red Vines? I'm confused. Things are different these days and I don't like it. Change bad, baaaa!
I haven't really written much here for a bit. I suppose my general state of trying to figure out what to do with my life has been to blame. A few hours ago I received the call informing me that I didn't get the job at Boeing that I had been reluctantly going for. Oh...yeah so for a few months someone at Boeing had been checking out my site and contacted me about a job. Its a long story of phone calls and what not, but it doesn't matter. I didn't get the job.
I suppose I am relieved in a way, it was after all a long shot as I kept telling him I didn't know the software, to which he said it wasn't a problem. But still...I would have had to moved near Renton and having only $60 or so in the bank kinda made that not very do-able. It still would have been nice to work there, but meh... I suppose its just nice enough to have someone interested in me and reminding me I still exist.
It was weird how he kept trying to cheer me up and offer nice motivational things to say. I kept saying "thanks" assuming the next words from him would to have a nice day etc, but no. He never gave one solid reason why he didn't chose me other than saying he went with the best fit for the group. He did offer the criticism of how during the interview I downplayed myself.
I don't like trying to make my stuff sound better than it is. In fact a few times I referred to some stuff as crap in the interview, which he noted. I'm honest and believe they need to know what they are getting for their money. Ironically it was my honesty on my website that made me stand out during the elimination process. But yeah...it appears my honesty has cost me another job. So far thats 2 out of 3 jobs. Oh...and my lack of knowing 3DS Max.
Fuck Cogswell for teaching us XSI. Had they not switched us to XSI I'd be so much better off. Giving up Max to learn XSI was hard and going back is so much hard as the two programs are like right brain vs. left brain. If I only knew what I did back then of Max now I would have been good. Stupid fucking Cogswell and their hypocritical claim of not teaching "button pushers." Nobody fucking uses XSI so why didn't we stay with Max? In fact this guy hadn't even heard of XSI before!
So....I suppose I'm forced with the decision of either forgetting everything in XSI and starting over in Max or keep using XSI and dig myself deeper into a hole. I should have just spent the last 5 months after the Zombie "interview" learning Max, but it sucks giving up on an education you paid a lot for, only to end up worse off then before you went to college, which is what I'll be doing by starting over in Max again.
So...clearly from the last few paragraphs of tangents I'm angry, but I'm glad. Anger is much better than hopelessness and despair. I literally said if my complexion didn't clear up by so and so and if I didn't get a job offer by so and so that was it for me, end of the line. My face cleared up and stayed so for a month until I did some stuff to cause it to break out (I always try to better stuff and make it worse). But yeah its basically cured it seems if I leave it alone. I've got some redness from spots I messed with, which will take a month or two to fade. It sucks to have to wait again for that. But knowing I've really overcome this issue in my life is nice. Its also nice to have had a job offer before the end of October like I had said I wanted. In fact...I got two offers, though the second was from a lame temp agency who knew shit about the job, which I'm not qualified for.
So...things are picking up for me. Its given me a push, which is what I need. I need a push into whatever direction I need to be headed and I think these were it. I know I have to learn Max or Maya, no ifs ands or buts. I also know I need to leave my face alone and not try to prevent breakouts as it only causes them. Leave shit alone if its good, fix it if its bad.
Those who know me know I'm a "glass half empty" sort of fella and I have to learn to except my own negative observations. I can't always fix them either. Now...changing my honesty, which seems to be my only other issue well.... its not going to happen. I won't apologize for be straight with people, even if it costs me work like it might have in this case. I am not going to become one of those "just to get your foot in the door" types who say whatever to get a job. Thats not me, especially after being on the end of so many lies like I was a few years back. Lies hurt and I won't have anything to do with resorting to them.
So I just got back from the liquor store and as I was paying for my glorious bottle of Kahlua the guy informs me that "I think I've seen this picture before...yeah I have." Bewildered by this, not sure if it is an attempt to make me crack and admit I'm underage and its a fake ID (which I'm not and its not) I reply by mumbling "ahhhh... I don't know how, I haven't been in here for a year."
It was weird, he didn't even had me a receipt, he just turned away and that was that. What the hell is this about? Is there a Bizarro James frequenting liquor shops in the area? If so why is it known to said shop employees? Also...why is it EVERY time I drink alcohol, after the first sip I giggle?
In other booze related news there is a special dark version of Kahlua, but sadly when I asked the lady at the store her thoughts on it she said it was just 40 proof, which regular used to be. She scoffed at my claim that it tasted like dark chocolate or that it was darker in taste and she said there is no chocolate coffee. Pfft...the internet told me it has chocolate tastes and um...regular even tastes like chocolate to me. Pfft... I don't really know the point of all this, but I have a tastey white russian next to me so who the hell cares?
While searching on Pirate Bay today for a file I follow a link some guy posted. The next think I know I'm on some adult sex social networking type site. Aside from the hot amature action they had a search feature with get this... a "hide dick" option. If only all sites had the "hide dick" option.
On the subject of social networking sites I have finally joined one again after 2 years of avoidance since well... most of you know. Apparently I'm not as trendy as I thought since the site Linkedin.com seems to have been popular for awhile. I doubt it'll result in job actions for the jimms, but hey I've gotta put myself out there somehow.
*LinkedIn does not have a "hide dick" option for those of you wondering.
I hate computers and I think I've been eating too much bacon. I need to buy some more HoneyComb. Its the french toasts fault really. Stupid gateway breakfast foods. I also need to start exercising more. This stupid heat has made it too hard to do my daily jumping jacks.
If I could figure out which freakin' video card to buy and power supply since I will apparently need a new one too then I could just play SW: Battlefront II and be the fat bastard I should be considering my lack of exercise and recent bacon intake. Plus its a really awesome game.
In other news someone from Boeing has checked out my portfolio site a bunch looking for "cogswell, resume, 3ds max." Maybe they'll offer me a job modeling stuff with 3ds Max, which I no longer know, nor can begin to learn (again) without a new video card. Yup...life's great.
Oh get this... someone came to my other blog site today from Jawa Barat Indonesia. That makes them Jawas! JAWAS!!!
Why is it every time I cook eggs they always come out scrambled? Well... poached eggs come out as poached, but thats just putting an egg in a thing. Anyone can put an egg in a thing. Everything else though... scrambled. Its quite possible that eggs are my nemesis. Its the only logical explanation.
Finally a long rant to break my streak of non-rantless ramblings...
I've neglected writing here for awhile since the entries would only end up being anger induced um...entries. To sum up things my video card died. I got it working a few times but ultimately my inability to leave things alone and constantly try to make things "better" resulted in my eventual taking of a solder iron and a Dremel to it. It did not result in good things, though the flame it produced inside my PC was kinda cool. On the flip side though, finding out the card was STILL IN WARRANTY was not so cool after the fact.
Also the second Ipod that I didn't want to win off ebay is more broke (again tried to make something better). Apparently the IDE ribbon cable had a release on its plug despite what I had read by those who seemed to know more than me. So...my forceful plugging and unplugging caused the cable to crap out, which makes the selling of the Ipod harder since its gone from "Explanation Point/Folder Icon" to "Sad Face Ipod." Oh...and believe me when I say it is indeed a sad Ipod. Also the clickwheel is broke, more so now after my attempt to "fix" it. On a recent and related subject the ebay seller who sold me the thing, only to mention the clickwheel sticking in small writing on the freakin' shipping envelope NOT in the auction is um...pissed at me.
I left a neutral feedback, to which they responded with a negative on my behalf. Heh...I knew it would happen after I emailed them try to see if the Ipod was indeed the correct one I got and implied I don't want to leave neutral/negative feedback, but rather resolve the matter and they responded with what could be considered a threat of negative feedback for me. Yeah...I paid immediately I'm so negative. I merely left a NEUTRAL not a negative comment stating they didn't mention the clickwheel sticking except on the shipping envelope more or less.
They want a mutual withdrawl, but fuck them for trying to strong arm me, not to mention sticking it to me with a bum clickwheel. I can take 1 negative feedback, dicks. So...yeah. Also on the subject of all things ebay I finally got my cables. The seller shipped me out new ones with tracking info and within 3 days I received them. I'm not sure why it took 2 emails for them to finally acknowledge them being lost. Not having them kinda screwed my chances of returning that bum Ipod too. But hey...guess what? The original shipment just came in the mail yesterday all super beat up! The items are okay, just the packages are bent so I basically got 2 for 1. I know it is on some levels wrong to keep this second pair, but considering the crap it caused me, no harm no foul I think.
Ah...such ethics I have. Anyway...I'm stuck using an old PCI card since I am now broke (I really didn't mean to win the other Ipod) and since I can't really sell it due to my "fixes" I'm fucked. My parents are using this as a means to encourage me into finding work. Actually I argued with my mom about the fine points of applying in person vs online and this is her response. Its nice to have her offering to buy me a new hard drive when my drive the other week crapped out and needed to be put in the freezer. It wasn't even dead dead yet she was quick to offer help, yet when my video card dies and thus has me unable to do anything to help my portfolio for work, not to mention is causing me headaches due to my using an old card with bad refresh rates, her response is? "Don't look at the computer."
So yeah...its been a frustrating week or so. There is nothing that gets me more than when the little things in life go wrong all at once. It just wears me down.
Tune in later for less rant filled posts about...I don't know how awesome I am or something.
Still no ipod charger, despite 14 business days for potential shipping. Still no response from the email I sent yesterday, or to the one I sent today to another address I found. Still no way of testing my second ipod to see if its more damaged than it was listed for and therefor requires me to return it or claim the insurance bond on it. I'm pissed. Most of the seller's feedback says "quick shipping" but a few say its very slow and I'm not very happy. My parents work for the post office and so I know that even at the slowest of rates it shouldn't take 2 weeks to go from the LA area to Blaine.
Well...chalk up another night's worth of fucked up dreams. I'm not sure why in the last few weeks I've been having such weird dreams, aside from perhaps the Brasso fumes I've exposed myself to over the last couple of days. Sure, as I write this I also happen to have Caca Noir (henna) on my head with a bit of added coffee and cloves, but thats all natural. Surely it won't hurt me, but I suppose I do need to watch what I'm exposing myself to in the future. Its hard though after all a head that smells like a cross between a Motel 6 room and a cup of coffee, well...who can resist that?
In other news my face is finally (yet again) clearing up for good. Actually it is clear, though I had to get out some reoccurring ingrown hairs so I have some cuts on my cheeks, oh and a weird red spot on my forehead from a peroxide burn that needs time to fade, pfft. But with my de-beardification of those trouble spots from the last 6 months, I'm doing good. Its weird how this time, now that I'm really clearing up for good that sense of self confidence that normally comes with it seems to be lacking. Man did that stuff give me such a high. I was literally a completely different person. But alas I seem to still be the negative outlook sporting depressive wad of lost identity that I've been for the last year and a half.
Late night ramblings, realizations, and well thats all I got really...
Well it seems one of the ipods I got off ebay arrived with "clickwheel sticks" and with this NOT being something that was mentioned in the "as-is" "no returns" auction I contacted the seller to straighten it out. Having read that they prefer you contact them before negative or neutral comments I did just that and asked why it was mentioned in the auction as I would not have bought am ipod for parts if such a part was not working and if perhaps they simple put the wrong label on the wrong package. I thought perhaps since they have tons of ipods perhaps the number on the corner of the shipping package with "clickwheel sticks" written very small could perhaps be for another ipod. I had hoped they'd look up the number and see referred to indeed the ipod I bid on.
Apparently... they not only question my being someone who can handle the concept of a "for parts" item and implied if I gave them a negative or neutral feedback they would do the same to me. Of course I told them all I couldn't test the ipod to see if the clickwheel is indeed "sticking" until I get my power cable, which incidentally has taken so far up to 9 days despite being shipped from California. But yeah.... um unless I'm mistaken they have no right to give me anything but positive feedback as my transaction was perfect I did my half. I paid quickly so... thats 100% on my end, but selling an item which you failed to mention known damage on willing only to inform the buyer (me) by means of a small scribble on the shipping envelope um... the item was not as listed so I can indeed leave non-positive feedback.
So yeah... it was kinda threating in a way the way they suggested I wait and test the ipod before leaving said feedback as if I should instead be examining whether I want to really say bad shit about them under threat of retaliatory non-positive feedback.
Eh...I knew I couldn't have something good happen to me good without something bad to taint it and inevitably by result my life. But in retrospect having just watched Clerks II I momentarily feel good about said life. I don't think I can remember a sequel that provided such a satisfying close. It really hit me too as during the movie I felt it was a let down of a sequel, but it all came together at the end, not to say it was the ending itself that was responsible.
So now its off to bed to lay here thinking about how my life is a waste and utter disappointment and very unlikely to provide such a similar epiphany that will in some way make all of this time wasted pay off.
Fuck! I just wrote up this big ass entry about how some ebay company failed to mention some damage during the auction only to write in on the shipping package and how pissed I am and how I am wondering what to do in terms of feedback and their Buy Safe bond coverage for auctions and then I hit the wrong damn button and erased the entry!
Still no freakin' cable for my ipod yet, though the second ipod should be delivered later today by UPS. I'm pissed. The first ipod was $5 to ship ($2.50 for the actual shipping it turns out) for First Class via the Post Office. It got here in a few days from California. The cable which was sent the same day via the Post Office also from California for a charge of $6.99 is still not here? WTF? Its lame enough UPS held my second ipod last night in Seattle for literally 23 hrs and 59 minutes before sending it my way, but this cable nonsense is ridiculous. I can't do shit without the cable, much less repair this second "sad faced" ipod. Blargh...paying more for something slower, that makes no sense.
As for my first ipod, its good. I did break the upper lip of plastic around the data port, but the plastic was abnormally brittle so meh...I can live with it. The Brasso I used to polish it worked really well too, for both the metal and plastic. However I think I went overboard on the polishing and may have scratched it yesterday. Nevertheless the ipod was a simple fix of opening and pushing on the harddrive's ribbon cable on the logic board end of it. Heh..$50 for a 40 gig ipod isn't too bad.
Back to the Brasso though, holy crap that stuff it cool. I actually used it on my glasses and fixed them as well. The pair that have the nice frames had a bunch of hazy scratches and as a test before use on my "good pair" I used the Brasso and while it made bigger scratches it then removed them, sorta. You can't really notice any of them anymore. Everything is blended together nicely. I'm tempted to try it on my second pair that have the anti-glare coating separating thats blurring my vision. Its just a shame Costco over tightened my other frames causing them to development cracks at the corners. But hey... at least I can now actually wear them again due to good old Brasso. I love you Brasso.
So much for getting back to writing shorter posts.
I feel like I should bust out my old Star Trek TNG uniform and the tricorder my mom bought me off QVC. I say this unflattering and nerdy comment because it appears I am missing time. Perhaps while going downstairs to take a whiz (man its been awhile since I said whiz) I stepped through some sort of temporal rift or something, then back through when I come back upstairs. Heck, perhaps aliens are even abducting me and this could account for all this, I don't really know.
What I do know is its already 4pm! I thought it was like 2pm. This has been happening a lot lately. I mean...granted my daily life is very uneventful, consisting of basically internet porn and blogs, which can all easily blur together from one day to the next, but still. Take Matt's blog for instance. One minute there is no new entry and then BOOM there is one saying its from like 2-3 hours earlier. What the hell?
These two alarming occurrences have me suspecting the worst. Thats right people, either the aliens are finally making their move against us or there is a conspiracy going on. In either case I suggest you all cover your assholes and watch over your shoulders. Oh sure...perhaps I'm just forgetting to look at the clock each day, and perhaps Comcast is simply forcing me onto a proxy server without my knowledge. You can believe these more rational explanations if you want, but no, not me. I mean to get to the bottom of this.
Damn...its hard to believe a guy who owns not only his one Star Trek uniform, but also a toy tricoder can't find a girlfriend. This is truly the sign that something is indeed amiss.
I think I have been successfully removed from the lives of everyone I once loosely considered friends or acquaintances (I have trouble telling which people fall into which category). I borderline don't exist, which I suppose is an interesting position, not that I'm saying it was a deliberate one.
I've realized I'm so far in the quicksand that I'm fucked regardless of the next move I make. I'm tapped out emotionally, mentally, creatively, and financially. I've got nothing to give and no one to offer it to. Stupid tasks I create for myself are all that I have to look forward to each day.
Nothing good is happening for me. Oh sure I did nail a recent job interview, but I then failed the "test" they gave, which I'm actually thankful for since the job was lame. Heh...they haven't even called me back after 2 weeks, but I'm relieved, really. I just wish I could find a job I actually want to do and can do for that matter. I can only compromise so much and that last place was the extent of it.
Interestingly enough I've discovered if I don't give a shit when I go into the interview or can hardly do the job I do great. Sure...I'm still "too honest" but whatever...I just talk to them normally and it work, or did for the phone and in person interviews. If only I could find a place where I knew I could do the job easily and could take in the same attitude to each interview. Though I suppose its also nice to have the people actually give me a chance and look at my site for more than a minute, but I suppose I'm just easily written off.
Crap, this has become a semi-depressive entry, which I swore this I would avoid in this blog. Hmm...anywho I think today's totally pointless task will be to either back up my hard drive so I can RMA it, or to re-box a bunch of my old toys and take pics. I kinda want to create a flickr account too, but its sorta pointless and another means for people to track me down online. Oh...and it not like I have a life worth documenting, err...visually that is, textually yes, oh yes, keep reading this blog.
Well... I just saw a young kid hitting a dead rat up and down my street with a giant hockey stick shaped, um...stick. I think today's quota for fucked up shit has been met.
...stupid little bastards
Also, in a totally unrelated note I love Firefox's new spell check feature and its negative effect on my general desire to care about spelling.
I hate this question! Once while talking to this girl online after asking me my birthdate for a unrelated reason she then was like..."so can I ask you something? Why Blaine?" Now that I could deal with I suppose, but today during my job interview when the second inteviewer came in half way into the inteview and asked the same thing I just lost it. It was like the first question he had too! I'm here because I grew up here and I'm now stuck here, okay? Thats why. Pfft..why the fuck are you from some stupid town?
So yeah...I had an interview today and I nailed it. Well...I nailed the interview, but I bomed the "test." I really hit it off with the graphics supervisor when she called and then today it was the same. I also hit it off with the um...whatever guy who came in. It was just as interviews are supposed to go, unlike that lame experience I had at Zombie.
I'm pretty sure though if they offer me the job or even just the part time job I'm going to turn it down. I really don't want to be the guy who tells his superiors how wrong they are or how they could do things much better another way, my way. It sucks as the people are nice, the atmosphere is too, but if its not work I can do confidently or be properly shown then I don't feel right taking the spot from someone else who might be right for it.
Having done the tabasco sauce with...everything approach one too many times I decided to try something a little different with my bacon tonight. Yes...tonight, thats breakfast for dinner! But back to the bacon, mmm...bacon. So yeah...eh fuck it. I put Jack Daniels BBQ sauce on my bacon and it was good.
Anywho...the jimms might finally get himself, which is I a job. Two weeks had past since applying and I noticed they had checked out my site a few times. In fact minutes after applying they checked it out. But no word from them. I figured they were only looking the last few times out of desperation. Well...the other day while my music was blasting low and behold a strange number called my phone. I picked up, which is odd and it was the graphics supervisor (she's been on vacation for couple weeks). I think aside from my cutting her off a few times in my eagerness to talk I nailed the conversation. In fact at one point she even said how I sounded perfect for it, since I also knew web design and she was currently stuck with the task of redesigning their crappy website.
Probably the only hitch is the fact she was considering me for the part time position not the full time position, thought it seems this was out of my commute situation not lack of skill, which I truthfully lack. Its a mac-based studio and they use Freehand, which I don't really know. But yeah...after a chuckle I told her my tale of commuting to my soon to be defunct college and that driving to Mt. Vernon was nothing.
She said they had been talking to a few people, which would make me think 3 or more. She's got one coming in on friday right after me, so I was lucky to have her give me the first interview. I kinda think perhaps they haven't really been talking to as many people and just said it to make me not get all full of myself with demands, which I have none of. Its $16/hr and medical,dental,vision (i think vision), and has matching 401k. I'm not really sure what the hell a 401k is really, but meh... Their big seller though, or atleast what they see as one is that after working their for 5 years they cover 100% of medical expenses. This is in fact why nobody's left there. I was told the only reason there are the openings is because they are growing fast and the last lady found a job a mile away from her house.
What is this job you may be asking? Phone books! I would be graphically designing ads for phone books and perhaps visitor guides. Yes, thats right the realm of gradients and clipart after all of my academic training (which after recent news may not be all that great). I think I can do it. The fact I'd be using Apples will slow me down if just mentally due to a placebo effect. Photoshop is basically the same so it shouldn't be bad.
If I can go in there talking and full of confidence like I was on the phone I know I will nail this interview friday. Oh...but get this. My complexion which was finally starting to clear up from the mess I caused months ago before my last interview is once more getting worse! Blargh...talk about bad timing. This really hurts my confidence. I'm scrambling to clear myself up which should be the last time I need to do it, since this is one of those breakouts you get before clearing up for good type of deals, but still. So yeah...I'm distracted trying to make it better in time, which it won't be. Hopefully I won't freakout and make it worse. In fact if I can get through the interview I think by the time I'd start the job I'd be clear so....
But yeah....I love being clear for weeks when I've got shit to do and nobody to see and then BOOM the one time I have to go out this happens. But I'm honestly getting used to getting dumped on like this by life. In fact...just the other week a seagull shit on me! Also...the crows around the neighborhood I think want to kill me. Trust me, if you were here you'd believe it. Anyway... this entry is too fucking long. I should write more regular to my audience of no one.
I've been neglecting this unknown and unvisted blog for awhile. I haven't had much to say really. I've been busy messing with my computer trying to get OSX running on it, my hard drive fixed of errors, and something else that I can't remember since I just had some rum/coke. But yeah...nothing worthwhile.
All in all I've finally cleared my complexion again, only to once more mess with it for some unknown reason and thus find myself looking like crap. So yeah...my self worth is upsy downsy these days. But otherwise I'm felling good I suppose. I'm exercising again, getting some sun, and it seems to be helping my general merriment.
Lets see...oh I've also stumbled upon some pics of this girl from high school that I had a major crush on. After graduation and such I randomly would lookup people's names and such, trying to find portfolio sites ect (she is an artist) and for the last 7 years I've found nothing of this girl till now. So of course I'm all dealing with having her back in my head like crazy, especially since she is like the first of only 3 girls I've ever really found attractive. Eh...if only I had an in, a means to somehow get in touch with her and have it not be all creepy. Of course that's impossible and since the pics are a year old by now she is probably seeing someone.
Damn...it seems like everyone I went to school with is getting married or having kids. I'm such a loser. Even my old best friend Herman just got married! How could someone like him find...eh....maybe its because he's all gangsta now, or was. The last time I saw him he was all gangsta and working McDonalds and shit. Perhaps thats what the jimms needs to do, push big macs down the throats of bitches and hoes, yo yo...
So yeah...um I'm a loser, thats right. Also I'm pissed off because I just found out today that Bumblebee isn't going to be a VW Beetle in the new Transformer movie. Fuck I loved BumbleBee. I have two legit versions of him, the Go-Bot knock off of him, and the generic cheap ass no-named rip off. He was my favorite and why? Because he was a fucking VW BUG!!!
Anyway the rum, the heat, and the approaching afternoon nap time has me losing interest in writing more so whatever, bye.
Well...tomorrow my dvd burner arrives and the fun of trying to install OSX on my PC begins. So far the only problem I forsee is having only 2 blank dvd-r's to use. I have two dvd-r's and two different iso files. Whether the iso's are good as is, or even the right ones for my system aren't known. I suppose the frustration invovled will be part of the fun.
I'm also hopeful I'll win the bid I placed on a "bad" ipod. Its got 6 days to go and its $0.99. Most people are now aware of the methods to fix ipods that would normally go dirt cheap as "broke" and so its hard to find a deal anymore. Most ipods are listed as having a bad hard drives and showing the "folder icon w/exclamation mark." These get picked quickly which is why I'm hoping this one won't. Its description lists right off the bat that it has a bad usb, which means...you can't hook it up to a computer to reformat and thus fix. So...most people won't see it as a quick fix.
With it saying it clicks people will know the hard drive is screwed and since the usb won't allow them to fix it I think most will pass. I just hope someone doesn't decide to bid on it for the hell of it and raise its price. This would be a fun little puzzle for me to entertain myself with and solve. Plus...I could freakin use an iPod.
Deleted comments, banning, and hypocriscy oh my!!!
Wow...twice in almost one week I've had comments of mine deleted. Even better I just got banned from posting after only my second comment! Hahaha...I can't believe "someone" banned me. Talk about lame. I would have thought that someone like her (especially her) could handle a little sarcastic razzing. But nope, apparently I'm mean. I guess things have changed since everyone totally joined in at giving me shit for being/blogging on myspace.
I also can't understand why talking about my not creepishly wanting to know about some roof sex also got me deleted by someone else. I mean...poking some fun at myself by claiming to instead get my jollies from amature internet porn, whats wrong with that? Since when did that blog start sharing the same target audience as Nick Jr? Am I wrong to remember previous entries about nipples and drug use?
I guess we live in a world of hypocriscy. A world where sarcasim is now lost in text form and self-deprication is no longer an understood means of humor. Well...thankfully I live largely in the past and so this blog welcomes all comments and subjects matter.
While cleaning my room I ventured up into the attic and upon discovering a bag of old clothes there they were. My Hypercolor shirt, which had lost its um...hyper? Yeah...it doesn't change colors anymore, but man when it did could you see the heat of my mighty armpits!
Also in the bag was my Mambosock hoodie type thing. I think I wore that thing like everyday, and it did not look good on me. But...it was one of the few popular brand items I had. Eh...I'm just thankful I never owned any of the earlier items they made. I mean what exactly was the charm in having some tube of fabric on your head? Bleh...running around looking like you have half a pair of boxers on your head.
I also brought down a cool suit/jacket thats all vintagey brown. Oh how the matching pants it came with kick ass. Unfortunately it has holes all over. The jacket though is in great shape, but a bit tight. Its cut high in the armpits and has this weird ass flap. Well...its more a square cut in the back, which sucks as it makes the jacket's tightness more apparent, but yeah...ass flap.
Anywho...I need to go find a place to put my Potty Elmo doll.
After a week of light fasting, cleasing, and drinking tons of water I feel pretty damn good. In fact I'm even thinking about going vegitarian for a month or two, but it probably won't happen. In fact I'll probably return to my bad diet any day now, as the cravings are getting pretty bad.
After 6 months of no pop I finally drank some Coke a few weeks ago. A few of them I even added rum to, which I normally hate, plus I don't drink really. It was weird. Now I want bread. Yes...bread. I've cut it out as much as possible and yesterday I had some and holy crap, bread kicks ass.
Fed up with food... because its made out of people!!!
I think I'm Beef-tos intolerant, or maybe Steak-tos intolerant. Eh...I've eaten steak like 4 times in the last week and the only question I have now is..."where's the beef?"
In other news...I've been downloading a lot of movies lately (since I have no friends), hoping not to push that bandwidth limit Comcast now enforces, without telling you what the limit actually is. But actually, I say to hell with them, downloads like Capricorn One and Soylent Green are worth the risk.
Why isn't there some Flintstone's Vitamin equivalent for Ritalin yet? Like..."Rittles" the fruit flavored "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GET BACK TO WORK!" candy. Also...why aren't there little bags of mashmallow bits sold in the cereal aisles that you can add to your marshmallow deficient cereals? It would make so much sense and yet...nothing.
But yeah...I really need to get on something for my self diagnosed ADD, and the marshmallows. Could you imagine a bowl of marshmallow enhanced Raisen Bran Crunch? Wait...how can a company have an Independance Day carpet sale in May? Fuck I hate that crappy, poorly animated 3d carpet dude!
Okay...I've never actually been called the "J man." However, I have been on occasion called J-5, Action Jackson, Wrist Action Jackson, Crazy Jim, Jimmy J, The Jimms, and during a large portion of my elementary years Jamie. The point is my name has j's in it so whatever, I'm back.
Yes, I hate this new blog too. Its dark and will therefor probably lend itself to more depressive subject matter, as opposed to the goofy and strange tone I'd like to use it for. Yes...there was a time when I used to have a weird sense of humor with a dash of sexual inuendo, and it made many laugh. Hopefully its just been laying dormant after years of it being looked down upon by stuck up aquantences and having my heart broke. More than likely this will be a failed revival, but I can promise you there won't be any writing devices used here named Chuck, Steve, or whatever the hell some people have to resort to.